entfall @ 2008-10-31T23: 39:00
In this house there are so so damn quiet, they're probably somewhere on celebrating Halloween. In my floor at the weekend is almost no one anyway, because they all are driving home and the computer man is' probably at his girlfriend, was not anymore, anyway. But also from above and below, not a single sound is heard, no light, no presence is noticeable. All dead
And I am firm so cold inside and out, over his heart film Frost, Ice Spikes in the flesh. Sometimes I can not separate Alleinesein well tolerated, not even the silence, I said yes zudröhnen just the ears with far too loud trance music (over mp3 player, so it is better in my brain turns drilled), which will somehow ensure that I am not quite as baseless and empty feel, I feel the pain of sadness-not always so nauseated that I did all the feelings would most like to throw up in a bloody gush from the body. I lose always the relation to reality, I alienated myself and my environment, even more than it already has and all this suggests is not at all well down on my psychotic side. Wahn-Sinn, de-ranged units. No idea, I is' ere all the same wish I just would stop at some point, but it never does and I've eaten so much, get so tired of dying, as have I also right back to the need to throw up.
I really do not know how others do it, at this intensity of feeling noise sometimes I can not do without addictions, somehow you have it all be so well compensated and at least partially degraded, but presumably they are simply not permanently demands so chronsich with themselves, do not want to rat-bulky and helpless before the clumped ruins of the personality, feelings and thoughts known, namely because they are capable deal with it and only me is the time not clear again.
reminds me spontaneously Element of Crime, a quotation:''And what does that tell us now? -I do not know.'' Exactly, just as it is wonderful. I begin, I go on a nerve and that is definitely not a good sign ever, because you can not run so poorly known to himself - tried often enough have I's yes, but miraculously without any success.
Actually, I really should not have fun with this (To do just about anything or have written perhaps better?) Write such a stupid blog entry, although the yes then no one reads anyway, like in the gigantic social fabric I am embedded. But at least I can also knock yourself on the back and say''Well done girl, brilliant performance as usual, top condition and this expression''because I feel a lot better then me, because this is clearly . And so on.
Oh no matter, I can always somewhere else all the time.
