Locker Combination Big Nate Island

What does a girl do ...?

Should you hear something about a huge explosion in Germany , don’t worry it’s just my head. So what does a girl do when her head feels like a separate Planet exploded by the human race her body aches wit every move and her nose runs all over the place? She realizes that her Aspirin Complex is two years past “best before” and takes off to gets herself some new stuff. Yes okay I admit she does that after she made a package of the old stuff took a sip and found it to taste more funny than usual. So off we go and on the way it’s kind of cold, the first perfect November day in September (yay autumn!) and she remembers that last year she lost this lovely soft cotton scarf she loved to wrap around her neck and decides to get a new one. So far so good and well getting a new sweater as well, since the next few days will be spent in bed and it looked so comfy, not a big deal either. And then they were there TUKs Granny Boots, the most perfect shoes on the planet! If I’d believe in any kind of divinity this shoes would be the proof he/she/it exists. Hm did I just renounce Eiris? Damn I hope she won’t get mad… or maybe she thinks it’s funny and sends me 30 silver coins and I can sell them and get another pair of those boots. Which I would have to do online (TUKs postage fee is about as high as the price of the boots itself) since there was only one pair left in the whole store so you understand I HAD to buy them! And it’s not my fault that on the way to the pharmacy is a book store that had a graphic novel named “THE BEATS”! So it was between buying meds and food and getting a new book.

I got the book and won’t moan about my headache or anything else.

Throat Had To Be Drained

For Hannah

Der Panther

Im Jardin des Plantes, Paris

Sein Blick ist vom Vorübergehn der Stäbe
so müd geworden, dass er nichts mehr hält.
Ihm ist, als ob es tausend Rods were
and behind a thousand bars no world.

The powerful paddings steps
which the very smallest circle rotates
is like a dance of strength around a center
in a great will stands stunned.

Only sometimes the curtain of the pupils lifts, quietly
-. Then goes into a picture
down through the limbs' intensive stillness -
and hear the heart to be.



Rainer Maria Rilke, 11.06.1902, Paris

Pokemon Silver Rom Gameshark Cheats

entfall @ 2010-09-07T22: 00:00

unstable.
... it's burning through my veins like gasoline
this feeling of being lost, cold and vulnerability, (life) Angst

''... fall off the table and get swept under ...''

swallowed, absorbed, eliminated
And I can hear in your head''my''song, the theme song for that unergrü ; RURAL painful longing and suffering torrential pulling into the everywhere-nowhere, adrenaline, panic and throw up both euphoria and desire.

~ ~ ~
Radiohead: Weird fishes turn

In the deepest ocean The bottom of the sea

Your eyes They
me

Why should I stay here?
Why should I stay? I'd be crazy not

turn to follow Follow where you lead

Your eyes They
me

Turn me into phantoms
I follow to the edge of the earth
And fall off
Everybody leaves
If they get the chance
And this is my chance

I get eaten by the worms
And weird fishes
picked over by the worms And weird fishes

Weird fishes Weird fishes


Yeah I
I hit the bottom Hit the bottom and escape

Escape
And I
I hit the bottom Hit the bottom

Hit the bottom and escape Escape
hear
~ ~ ~

It is almost pure masochism (and I've still got more of such songs, such music): Old demons give the opportunity to Claws and fangs me to dig into the flesh and to enjoy it (bitter sweet memory), while other parts of my head and heart are already on and defend themselves from sinking and losing - one foot still in the bottom of old wounds (as self-destruction is the only way possible for me to feel) and the other even in uncertain Anders (excavation, defense).
It is a balancing act on a knife edge - to know what it once was and it still almost always empathize with unadulterated, without, however, the fragments newly developed terrain and its position is not sufficiently asserted again to give up. And that is, I sometimes think the real danger of depression - some kind of addiction is to wollüsterner pain experience. It can not allow it to be working is probably the art. Melancholy is beautiful and for me a driving feel to much of my downfall.

It makes me vulnerable, irritable.

Without protection for my sensitivity, I can not leave my retirement. It is so incredibly intense, almost like sometimes die, as under current. Trembling, lying bare Nerves. Long as I can not join something, someday I'm simply not receptive.

Somehow I must have done it, to learn to deal with my feelings, so it is not always either too much or too little. Between the barricade behind impregnable walls and the defenseless helplessness, it must be some middle ground (''between death and eternal life must be a third thing'', because I think this song line, always). The tide must be channeled, controls the energy, everything else makes me - and I know for certain, not only my experience tells me that - broke the long run.

The first way has already become independent too much, now I'm sitting in this prison and come out no more. For me there is a permanent energy storage, I stand always live and find no outlet for it. If I can not find ways to live out the self, the blazes too long locked up his own destructive way out (for this I'm probably permanently sick). And me, the offspring of frigging and inertia, passivity.
How interesting is probably the most bites to outsiders? But the latter was only the result of the inability of the former cope and tension is also reflected in many more or less subtle things. Torn nail beds, tight muscles, nervousness and lack of concentration, one never really find relaxation attitude, always in fight or flight. Not least sleep problems. Oh, I would surely think of some that hormonal side effects depression-induced lethargy are very likely to me ad nauseam, so familiar. What's

. Did I write that? For what?
monotony, it's my Journal.


And as always, remains the only emotional level flight crashed into the void.
are to remain up and bruised.

wind driving clouds shadow.

''... Herman, calls the wind, and I will be cold ... all I have is a name only, and have I a someone else '...''

Gone.