entfall @ 2009-01-11T04: 44:00
It's all in the circle, I come just over and over again on the same point.
opt for an opinion and reject them again, decide to do something and can not do it again. I can not even begin to find words for it like me annoy it.
me refute itself again and again, return again and again the absence of the slightest. That's it can give just do not know why all the heavens I find it so difficult ? I's simply do not understand, but I understand it anyway never pretend.
It is a constant up and down and back and forth, Extreme and abysses, to constantly change - until finally, once again, oh what a miracle is nothing left.
It is not progress. Everything I stagnated too much, I can not see any significant developments. The possible exception of my personality, but what does that mean? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Sand trickling through his fingers and dust specks in the universe.
Sometimes I do not know why I even say or write anything, yet there is no stock anyway, not in my head, not in my life and not otherwise.
And the well-known: so crappy that it's easy to just laugh. But is all this damn directed against myself, but my cynicism never on.
It leaves only emptiness, emptiness constant, I get nauseated from it.
And then I feel myself again just bad - no sadness, no bitterness, no pain, no despair, no aggression, no hate, no will to destroy, not fear. Only hollow and shallow restless malaise tinny, echoing hole. Everything half-heartedly, do not care. Cold.
I can not find anything simply can not look again. Failure but already at, for others perhaps the simplest question: Who am I? What?
And I just want, again gottverfluchter dirt, any live and not just exist.
It all makes so tired.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
How To Spice Up Carrot Juice
entfall @ 2009-01-10T15: 25:00
Why is what you (just) can not have / has always been the nicest?
This is probably a sign (morbid?) Chronic dissatisfaction. And probably you should really learn to enjoy the moment, happy or satisfied or what to always be with what is there and the way it is (what an effort to further exclude not do so). A tendon that is not feasible and therefore immortal, has undoubtedly well its positive aspects, but it is sufficient if it remains non-specific, suppose there must be no concrete forms (for I think this one can only feel bad anyway and is therefore further bringing it in any way helpful).
I live, breathe, can see and hear. I should just know what a gift alone, and not only when I threaten all of this might lose again. And I know I have not yet completed, will still die not except in those abysmal phases of complete exhaustion. And the pass, like everything would end, I really want to eliminate myself, would have I followed this action with respect to a much greater emphasis and opportunities, there were already so plentiful. I do not want to believe that it is possible to live, but do not want to be able to, there must be ways, possibilities or solutions, anything - there are too many ways to lead a life too many directions, as that one can rule it out completely.
hope? Who knows. It's not matter, somehow I have to just continue, even as.
Why is what you (just) can not have / has always been the nicest?
This is probably a sign (morbid?) Chronic dissatisfaction. And probably you should really learn to enjoy the moment, happy or satisfied or what to always be with what is there and the way it is (what an effort to further exclude not do so). A tendon that is not feasible and therefore immortal, has undoubtedly well its positive aspects, but it is sufficient if it remains non-specific, suppose there must be no concrete forms (for I think this one can only feel bad anyway and is therefore further bringing it in any way helpful).
I live, breathe, can see and hear. I should just know what a gift alone, and not only when I threaten all of this might lose again. And I know I have not yet completed, will still die not except in those abysmal phases of complete exhaustion. And the pass, like everything would end, I really want to eliminate myself, would have I followed this action with respect to a much greater emphasis and opportunities, there were already so plentiful. I do not want to believe that it is possible to live, but do not want to be able to, there must be ways, possibilities or solutions, anything - there are too many ways to lead a life too many directions, as that one can rule it out completely.
hope? Who knows. It's not matter, somehow I have to just continue, even as.
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