Five Times August / Smile Empty Soul
"We shall find peace. We will listen to the angels and see the sky sparkling with diamonds. "
Maybe I'm like Norah. Maybe I'm talking only about making what I want and do not want to do, what I can and can not, and what absolutely does not fit into my life and what I really want to have in my life. Even the stupid idea with the Christmas-If I had, and that just because a stupid moment determined before 5 years. If not longer.
But whenever it comes to action on my part. If I skip steps do if I need to breathe words of which I am afraid. Every time I disappear. Protective wall. Latch, shell. I'm tight. Whenever I had the opportunity to even the slightest chance to change something.
The thing bobs up with Sarah to herself. You is of the opinion, especially since our Christmas Eve that we get everything back into balance. And I just attacked by her feel, because it puts so much more to it. They probably will never understand.
And now, is very close to the end of this year everything to me one, I lost. Daniela. Sarah, my heart, my soul, my mind, my sister, my family, and I'm about to lose even Anne. I will say that I stay, I will never go. But I feel I must. I can not stay longer, I can not stay longer and they violate it. I'm just not the person I would like to be for them. I am not the person she sees me in the hope that it really is. Whenever I try, I can not take this picture of me maintained. And I can not stand the pain any more if I destroy their hopes, their beliefs. I can not continue to let them down and expect that I can always go back.
I also really miss Pepe. Without knowing it has kept me as I staggered. I was torn from my feelings and just gave me a little rest. It is simply wonderful with her. No complicated feelings, no questions without answers, but simply being.
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